Letting Go

The shrill sound of my alarm clock startled me as I nudged my son to get up. I had already hit snooze, so to speak, the first time it went off and I never really went back to sleep fully. My focus was his breakfast, then getting him dressed, and then getting me dressed. I made his lunch and then spent five to ten minutes looking for his lunch bag. As my brain presented me with a mental picture of the blue and black Batman lunch bag, I instantly remembered where the bag was. Okay, so I was nervous. This is my kid's first day of 1st grade and he is not only at a new school, but he will be taking the bus. I want him to be accepted and to not be afraid. Boy, did he set me straight.
As I checked the bus route schedule, my six year old approached me, his face aglow with excitement. I explained to him that he was taking the bus and that I could not be on the bus with him. He informed me that he had it covered. And yes, those were the words he used.
At about 8:15 am we headed out of the door. Once outside I noticed that it had been raining earlier that morning and I worried that it might start back up again. So we turned around and went back into the apartment to get his Spiderman umbrella. Out into the outside world we went again. After going maybe seven or eight steps I noticed how windy it was. Then my son commented on how windy it was. Back we went into the apartment to get a jacket for him and a sweater for me. Finally we were ready to make the journey to the end of our complex where the bus would pick him up.
When we reached the designated area I noticed some kids had gathered on the building closest stoop. I could tell that they knew each other and that this was a normal routine for them. I instantly began to worry that my son would feel left out. My mind started to entertain thoughts of him being alienated from the other kids. As I explained what I wanted him to do once he arrived at school my doubts became infectious. He looked at me thoughtfully and asked if I could ride the bus with him. In that moment my heart soared. He was still my little baby!
The bus pulled up and he abandoned all thoughts of me riding with him. I walked him to the bus and waved until the bus pulled away. As I walked back I realized that some of my experiences as a child influenced how I dealt with him having to go through new experiences. I never saw myself as the type of mother who clung to her child and expected the child to cling to her. My kid is one of the most independent kid's I have ever seen. Although I love it, it does sometimes scare me. Yet, I know now that it's only because of my maternal instincts.
Today was a lesson for me. Even though it was a small occurrence for me, I know it will stand out in my son's memory forever. And I am good with that. But hey, that's just me.