Pushing Past My Setbacks

I am at a cross roads of sorts, yet I really don't want to be. I have spent a lot of time these past few months trying to establish some sort of routine for my life. However, at every turn I am met with opposition. For instance, I try to take a chance on a relationship with a man that I felt was a friend. I changed, in a sense, because I did not let myself react the way I usually do to certain situations and yet and still I got basically the same outcome. So now we are not even speaking to each other; things were said, by him, that I can not let go of. And at the end I realized that I just wasted time and energy on a relationship that was headed no where to begin with. To top that all off, I am now playing catch up with my school work, my writing, and my promotion of my new CD, all because I wanted to make things work with him.
Ironically, I do not in any way blame him. He is a good man at heart and he will make someone a good boyfriend or husband. He is not the one for me, and in accepting that I have also accepted that he never asked me to change or to take time away from anything that was important to me. I did those things entirely on my own and although I am not sure why I went to such extremes, I am sure that I was rebounding and overcompensating for all that I have lost.
My life basically consists of school, work, my son, my family, my friends, and me last. This is not even remotely structured, and for me to function I have to have structure. Sure I am angry at myself for wasting time and I am angry at him for misrepresenting himself to me. But that is just a small part of the opposition that I face when trying to put my life on track. My unwillingness to not let myself get caught up in helping others, I mean to the point where I end up suffering, is crazy to say the least. The worst part about it is that I never realize that that is what I am doing until it starts being blatantly apparent that I am losing because of whatever crusade I am on.
Where or what can I do to stop this never ending cycle? I firmly believe that part of my problem is I let my mind spend too much time in the past, remembering when I had some semblance of order. I know I have to deal in the here and now, but I don't know how to let go. I pride myself on being a highly intelligent young woman, and I know that I am talented. So why is it that I have made such a small amount of progress?
Everyone has advice, some say its the people in my life. I know that I am in habit of keeping the same set of friends, basically everyone of them have been in my life for a decade or more. Some say its because I try to do too much. As I stated before I am in school, I am a freelance writer, I work part-time, and I have a debut CD that I just released. That's a lot, I know, but to me all necessary.
I guess I should take some me-time, and I should really try and figure out what is hindering me from being at my full potential. I know one thing, I am not getting in anymore relationships. At least not until I am in full control of my life and schedule. Loneliness and I are old friends, therefore, I think I can deal with out a man. One day at a time, making my own way through life as intelligently and diligently as I can. I'm not quite sure of where I should begin, but I am going start anyway. But hey, that's just me.