Taking Charge

Yesterday I started reading "Web Marketing for Dummies" and it opened up so much creativity in me, I almost feel like myself again. Almost. Some kind of a way I have managed to take all of my pinned up stress, anger, frustration, etc. and put it into my left shoulder. Therefore, for a solid week I have been having excruciating muscle spasms. I actually went to the emergency room and got a prescription. I also started taking the medication and this has thrown my body and state of mind into oblivion and beyond.
Slowly I am trying to come out of it, but the pain, plus all of the stuff that stressed me out enough to cause this kind of pain, are really holding me down. It is funny, I feel these moments of clarity and optimism, then I feel stupid for ever feeling like that to begin with. Yet and still I have no choice but to push forward.
I have a whole lot that I want to accomplish. Yeah I have my associates degree in Marketing, the first in my family to do that but then again so what? For me certain accomplishments are lost when it is the minimum that you should have achieved in the first place. I know and I believe in me. Point blank.
I have disappointed the crap out of myself numerous of times but guess what? I am the only one who is counting. Sometimes I think that is the only because no one else really sees me. Obviously I get it right some of the time. Of course those are the times that my memory can not readily recall. I guess I am going to have to do something about that. But hey, that's just me.